Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Make-up and coffee

I hate to admit it, but I love watching the "Tori and Dean" shows. Totally a guilty pleasure. The fourth season (I think) just started and I was watching it on Comcast 'On Demand' this morning. The entire episode was focused on both Tori and Dean trying to balance their professional life and being parents. Tori had the harder time with it. I think a lot of moms do - trying to balance being a mom and a wife while still trying to be true to herself. As a new mom, I can totally understand where she is coming from - trying to balance being a working mom. It is two full time jobs (add in being a wife - which is a part-time job at the minimum and it is surprise I have time to sleep.)

She was talking to a friend who is a stay at home mom, asking how if she missed it working. Her friends comment rang true to me as well. She said that she was just working until she was able to become a mom. Once that happened she realized that was what she was meant to do. When Tori looked at her, feeling almost guitly that she didn't feel the same way and how that might reflect on how she was as a mother, her friend told her that the choice to stay home was right for her, but is not right for every women. Tori than made a comment about her friend always looking so put together and asked her how she did it. Her answer: "Make-up. Make-up and lots of coffee." I'm sure every mom can agree with that statement.

Everyday I struggle with the same internal conflict that Tori Spelling did on this episode (and I'm sure still stuggles with today). How do I be fill the need to be a professional and be the best mom ever? There are days when I just want to cry. I feel like I miss so much of Abby growing up, but on the other hand I also want to be a successful working woman. Part of me knows that going to work each day helps me be a better mom because I'm doing something for me (plus with a second income, we are able to provide things with Abby ( and us) that we wouldn't be able to without it) . The other part wishes I could be with her every moment because I don't want to miss any part of her childhood.

Not sure I'll every overcome this struggle, just hope I can keep life balanced.

2 comments:

Cyndi said...

I never understood the whole SAHM vs. work out of the home mom debate. I think we as moms and women need to support each other no matter what. And it is true, what works for one person doesn't work for another. I have a lot of admiration for moms who can "do it all" with a career and family cause I have days that I struggle through just the family stuff, nevermind a regular paying full-time job!Make sure that you have time for yourself wether it is your job or something else and the rest will fall into place. Plus I think you have a good role model in your mom!

Jennifer said...

I agree. We do need to support each other. I didn't want my post to be picking a side of the SAHM or working mom debate. I was just venting my own struggles at being a working mom. I think either side has struggles, just different kinds.

You are right, I do have a good role model in my mom, but also my grandmothers and aunts!!